Scot68

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99 Solider

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About Scot68

  • Rank
    Talker

Personal Information

  • Age
    48
  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    suburb of large city

BDSM Experience

  • Role
    sub - switch
  • Status
    committed
  • Preference
    Straight
  • Kinks
    light bondage, light impact
  • Hard Limits
    no roman, no golden, no scat, no blood, no permanent marks

Interests

  • BDSM Interests
    total newb but read a few books and watched a quite a few videos
  1. I think Hawkeye Pierce on "MASH" (old tv show) had it right: "we're all looking for a custom fit in an off-the-rack world" i think that no two people will be in sync 100% of the time. I hope if you get the communication right then a lot of stuff will fall into place. But if one person has a higher intimacy need than the other ("listen and connect") then that is a communication problem. I think poets must have a high intimacy need
  2. I have been reading a book called "The Completion Process" by Teal Swan. I was stopped in my tracks by the following sentence ... “In fact, often the need to help everyone is its own traumatic carryover from childhood.” Excerpt From: Swan, Teal. “The Completion Process.” Hay House, 2016-08-08. iBooks. This material may be protected by copyright. Check out this book on the iBooks Store: https://itun.es/us/K2_ncb.l ...... this reminded me of what PurpleKnight wrote in his blog. And reminded me of my comment. (Here's my comment) ..... I remember a story, I think it is an Italian story of how Christmas presents come. Some woman (I don't remember the name) missed her chance to give the baby Jesus a gift and so from then on she felt compelled to give gifts to all children. I have come to think she gives these presents out of guilt for her "sin" of missing her original chance of accomplishment. That she has to make up for her mistake. My job is to teach. I put a lot into my classes. Sometimes I feel like that woman. Like I am trying to make up for my some mistake that I committed that I don't even remember by providing excellent service to my trainees. I really don't think of myself as a bad person but I seem to work extra hard to prove to myself and to the world that I'm actually a good person. ..... well, now the point: I would like to think that we don't always help others just because of a traumatic carryover from childhood. Actually I have been contemplating, meditating and working things out. And now I feel more like I help people, not because I need to make up for some wrong of my past, but more because I have enough to give.
  3. I want to quote Brene Brown. (I really like Brene Brown) Quote: Guilt is "I did bad". Shame is "I am bad". We will never get rid of guilt. Guilt will stay with us forever I think. But guilt is just a consequence of looking back at what we've done and thinking "what the hell was I doing? That was awful of me." Guilt is associated with being considerate and conscientious. Psychopaths don't have guilt. Shame: "I am bad". Brene says shame is associated with juvenile delinquency, bullying, addiction, the list goes on... By the way, I believe it is said that psychopaths don't feel shame either. Maybe there are two kinds of shame. There's the shame of doing something that gives us pleasure but we have been told that it's immoral, bad or shameful, like masturbation. But that kind of shame dissolves as soon as you take it out of secrecy, decide that it's not immoral, and realize that everyone else is doing it too. (Rock on masturbators!). On the other hand, there is shame about those things that really are immoral. It's pretty obvious to me that I want to say that for growth we need to move from "I am bad" and just let it be guilt. Guilt can be prettt crippling too. But I think "I have done some stupid things that I feel guilty about but I'm learning and growing and although I'll fuck up again, I can learn and grow after that too" is a lot better than "I am bad. I'll never learn. I'll never grow. I'll never be a good person" i really do not know what it takes to seriously fuck a person up. Broken homes, childhood abuse has certainly bent and broken a lot of people. I have a tough time saying that someone who comes from a hellish childhood and ends up doing bad things is "bad". But I will go so far to say that the "good" people who unfortunately have hellish childhoods might do some bad things but then get themselves out of it , and might someday find themselves handing $20 to someone down on his luck. Scot
  4. I have started meditating in the morning and today I was settling down to my usual thing. I watched thoughts come and go but then a thought came which compelled me to write a comment on this blog. I remember a story, I think it is an Italian story of how Christmas presents come. Some woman (I don't remember the name) missed her chance to give the baby Jesus a gift and so from then on she felt compelled to give gifts to all children. I have come to think she gives these presents out of guilt for her "sin" of missing her original chance of accomplishment. That she has to make up for her mistake. My job is to teach. I put a lot into my classes. Sometimes I feel like that woman. Like I am trying to make up for my some mistake that I committed that I don't even remember by providing excellent service to my trainees. I really don't think of myself as a bad person but I seem to work extra hard to prove to myself and to the world that I'm actually a good person. Now having said all that, I'm not going to try to convince you that you are a good person. But I will tell you that you are very much not a bad one. And in behalf of all those you have helped, thank you for the gifts.
  5. Yeah Kitty. There have been a few songs that really speak to me.