misty {HBMan}

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misty {HBMan} last won the day on March 24

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About misty {HBMan}

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  1. Today HBMan seemed different right from the first message He and I exchanged. I can't say how different. I just knew immediately He was different. So, I asked whether He was ok. He replied that He was. What followed can only be described as a disasterous conversation. It ended with His frustration levels rising while I sat and cried. I knew I wasn't to blame but I could also see His effort to not hurt me. And so I gave Him an 'out' saying I needed to go and do something. A short while later, He replied with a wry little joke, I saw it as the effort to come closer that it was and we got to the heart of the matter. All is well and we realised how sensitive we are to each others moods. But it showed me more. I've always maintained that the hardest part for me in a D / s dynamic is not obedience. It's not limits or tasks. It's being vulnerable. Being open. Actually, it's more...Remaining vulnerable when you can see the Other is off-kilter; not shutting down to try and protect yourself. That is what is difficult. And while I felt myself closing, and telling Him that it's OK and that I'll sort xxx out myself, feeling very alone and vulnerable, the second He showed a hint of wanting to right the balance, I didn't hold onto it. I believed that He really wasn't going to hurt me. And I could embrace it. That is progress, isn't it? It might have stayed a disasterous conversation, but it didn't. Why? Because He doesn't want to hurt me and I don't want to shut down. Slow steps. Solid. Important.
  2. Oh and... A Wise Man once said in a blog about boobies: 'Of course women know ALL these facts the same as they know everything else...Right?'. *grino* exactly right, my Sir. And now I have written proof.
  3. I found the reference to men and their preference for larger or smaller breasts fascinating. If I read it correctly, there seems to be some type of correlation between liking larger breasts on a woman and what was important for early survival. But the most apt sentence in the whole blog, in my humble opinion was: FU hormones!!
  4. Saying it is raining and that's why You took long is a good excuse, my darling Sir. It isn't erm......water tight... but ok
  5. So, i did it. I said that to Him *giggles* He asked me something and I said: is a fish's arse watertight?? At first I got a smilie in response. Then...lllllloooooooonnnnnngggggggg after He said: well, I know yours is. I then told Him that the delayed response took away the power of His comeback. Not a shabby comeback all in all, but He should work on His timing.
  6. I hope the insults or trips to the bathroom is never needed. The rest... LOL Imagine the scene: I'm kneeling before Him, naked, in nadu, eager and ready. He asks: 'Are you ready, girl?' And I answer: 'Is a frog's arse watertight?' Ooh I'm going to try it! I'll report back on His reaction!
  7. '"I wish his dad had settled for a blow job".' ^ That's a pretty descriptive insult right there!!
  8. Yesterday HBMan was teasing me because my auto correct was hating on me. He said He couldn't understand me, and had to ask a list of questions until He understand my story. I won't go into detail but I'll say that the 'b' word was used!!! He...He ....*wipes away a tear* He was struggling to understand me, taking into account English isn't my first language BUT you know....it isn't His either. Exactly. You see, my darling HBMan is Australian and they do have their own way of speaking. So, this morning I woke to an email to assist me in better understanding Him. Oztraliun, He called it. And I have to say...they certainly have their own language!! COMPLIMENTS "Ya bloods worth bottling!" "He's True Blue". "I'd be up her like a rat up a drain pipe". "A better man never stood in two shoes!" YES "Does a fat dog fart?" "Even Blind Freddy could see it". "Is the Pope a Catholic?" "Does a Koala shit in a gum tree and wipe his ass on a Cockatoo?" "Bloody oath!" "No wuckin' forries". "Is a frog's arse watertight?" "Does a duck's bum pucker in a power dive?" NO "Pig's arse!!" "Do chickens have lips?" ASSORTED "Drilling for Vegemite". (Anal sex) "I'll have a super". (I'll have a beer) "Make mine an unleaded". (I'll have a light beer) "Going off like a frog in a sock". (try to picture this one) "Like throwing a sausage down a hallway" (bad sex with a loose girl) "Like trying to put a marshmallow in a coin slot" (sex after a few too many beers) I'M HUNGRY "I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies". "I could eat the horse and chase the jockey". "So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich". "I could eat the arse out of a rag doll through a cane chair". "So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck". I'M THIRSTY "I'm dry as a dead dingo's donger". "I'm drier than a nuns nasty". "I'm dry as a fuck with no foreplay". "I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat". "I'm as dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards". "I'm drier than an Arab's fart". I NEED TO GO FOR A PEE "Gonna drain the dragon". "My back teeth are floating". "Need to syphon the python". "I got to take a snake's hiss". "Gotta go have a slash". "Gonna go water a horse". "I'm off to drain the main vein". "Time to splatter the bladder". "I'm dying for a piss so bad I can taste it". "Shake hands with the wife's best friend". I NEED TO DO A POO "I gotta go give birth to a politician". "I'm takin' a stroll to the gravy bowl". "I've got to drop the kids off at the pool" "Off to the bog to leave an offering". "Time to snap off a grogan". "Have to hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave". "I'm gonna strangle a brownie". "There's a brown dog barking at the back door". "I'm going to give birth to your twin". "Need to choke a brown dog". "I've freed Nelson Mandela". "Taking out the garbage". "I gotta back one out". "Gonna lay some cables" "Off for a James Hird" "I'm touching cloth" "The turtle is poking his head out for a look" "Spray painting the Duck Bluey" VOMIT "I was driving the porcelain bus this morning". "I left him a lawn pizza". "Toss a tiger on the carpet". "Having a technicolour yawn". "Say hello to Ruth" INSULTS "I hope your ears turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders". "Not enough brains to give himself a headache!" "About as useful as tits on a bull". "You must be the world's only living brain donor". "He's a few wanks short of an orgasm". "She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard". "Fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down". "Face like a bashed crab". "May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down". "He's got a few roo's loose in the top paddock". "So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!" "Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery". "Pull your lip over your head and swallow!" "As ugly as a hat full of assholess". "If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards". "Got a face like a bashed in shit can". "Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground". "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse". "Couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of fifties". "About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition". "I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!" "A stubbie short of a six pack". "Seen better heads in a piss trough". "You're as handy as shit on a stick". "Tighter than a fish's arse". "So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him". "As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp". "He could talk a dog off a meatwagon". "Fucked in the head". "You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie". "He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door". "Mate, shes as rough as a pigs breakfast". "Your face is like a twisted ugg boot". "He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle". "She's been hit with the ugly stick too many times". "She's two pick handles wide". "An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag". "As ugly as a bag of spanners". "You've got a head like a dropped pie". "He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him away". "I wish his dad had settled for a blow job". "If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it". "Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with an armful of deck chairs". "As thick as two short planks!" "Oxygen Thief" "What a pog" (pog = pig dog) "Shit for brains" Well... I am certainly . educated, dear HBMan!! Just one question: Why do You need 10+ ways of explaining what happens behind a closed toilet door? Isn't it best to keep the mystery alive on that one??
  9. Pretty please, Sir?
  10. High ^5's Kitty! I agree! We're safe because we like spanking...lucky us! And anyway... I offered to call Him Big Ears as a sign of respect! We are an example for subbies everywhere, indeed.
  11. *grins* Are You also seeing machine guns, MrGatekeeper? *giggles innocently*
  12. He will be here soon, I suspect, Sir. I think He will be very proud of this blog about His dance moves on top of a ladder
  13. Yes kitty! Exactly! I should be getting patted because I did good! Instead I had to be without my pretty lacy panties!! Cruel! Thanks for being on my side!
  14. May we never forget where we came from, what we had and how we felt. In this lies destruction for the one and fertile soil for driving ambition for the other. *tips my hat to You*
  15. Leaniet, MrGatekeeper?? Noooooooo! It's a conspiracy. I have been a good subbie! Promise! Scouts honour!